Message-ID: <3D444F85.26528D4D@sympatico.ca> From: Carl Blondin <<>> Reply-To: carl.blondin -aaatt- mail.mcgill -daht- ca X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.79 [en]C-SYMPA (Win98; U) X-Accept-Language: en,fr-CA MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien,alt.fan.tolkien Subject: Book VI, Chapter 7 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 142 Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2002 13:09:41 -0700 NNTP-Posting-Host: 65.94.250.53 X-Complaints-To: abuse -aaatt- sympatico -daht- ca X-Trace: news20.bellglobal.com 1027876073 65.94.250.53 (Sun, 28 Jul 2002 13:07:53 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2002 13:07:53 EDT Organization: Bell Sympatico Not wanting to deal with Roglings, the hobbits and Radagast spent rather little time in Rivendell before going on. Even Margarita could not get them to enjoy their stay, El Rond was about to vote the conscription and all those present would have to go on a Rogling hunt, which is rather unpleasant when you are not trained in the art, as you all know. They were all raher sad that they could not get their hands on Bilbo though, after all he was responsible for all the misery they had gone through. He decided to get rid of the ring and give it to Frodo. The Hobbits were not to eager to see the Shire again, except for Morrie. Frodo was thinking of all his creditors that he had though he'd never see again. Sam was trying to find a plausible explanation to give Rosie, he had been gone for over a year just about when he was going to lead the revolution. Morrie was actually thinking of how he could tighten his hold over the underground and expand his markets, he had managed to get a weak king on the throne after all. And Pipskeak, well, he didn't have a character that was to developed around the beginning of the e-text, so he was just worried that he's loose all the depth he had acquired. As they walked, Radagast turned to Frodo and asked him if he was unwell, he was, after all, supposed to feel his old wounds around this time of the strory. "Not really" replied Frodo. "I know that I am wounded with knife, sting and tooth, and claws, and falls, and disillusionment, but it's not that bad. Everything will heal I expect." "How about when you said you remembered who killed Arielle?" asked Radagast. "Oh, yes, it's fairly obvious who ordered the kill and I'm suprised that none of the other Hobbits realised it." "How do you mean?" "Just look at the wau in which Arielle was killed" replied Frodo. "The Bywater Grin was done perfectly, and the Beltbuckleland Crime Syndicate has never revealed the trick to anyone. So it logically falls that the crime was perpetrated by a Hobbit. To my certain knowledge, there was only four Hobbits present. Out of those four, only one could know how to do the Grim." "Why didn't you tell anyone before?" "The voices told me not to. They told me that it would cause mayhem. Since the voices are also the ones who explained to me what I just explained to you, I believed them." "So why are you telling me now? I don't understand you." "The voices told me that once we had passed the Forsaken Inn and were finally nearing Bree, noone would care anymore, and I could tell if anyone asked." "I see" said Radagast, and after a paused added "I'll have to ponder what you have told me." As they neered Bre, they came to a halt. They wanted to get news of what had happened since they left, but they didn't want to go into town, remembering the huge bill that the Nazdaq had raised for them at Barliman Butterball's inn. It was finally elected that Frodo, now being beyond recognition, would go accompanied by Radagast, whom noone knew around these parts. Why they trusted him, they couldn't've told, but they did, probably because he hadn't tried to ask them for a fee for anything yet. As they entered the town, Frodo knew that something had gone horribly wrong. All the aluminum sidings had been replaced by composite materials, and there had been no guard at the gate. Insted, an ATM stood there, an Automated Talking Machine, which told them that they had to pay ten flokarinos each in order to have access to the town. They then proceeded to the Prancing Pony, expectng to gather news in the common room, which to their utter amazement was empty. They asked Barliman about this. "'Tis because of the new college which has opened in the Shire. 'Tis a bunch of Big'Uns that came from the South, they started by buying out most of the industries in the area, including our sidding industry, which they have defiled. Then they somehow managed to overthrown all stock markets and have all our banks go bankrupt. They them opened up a college in the Shire and started new banks, so that they would get all the profits. 'Tis a n evil day to be in these parts" Hearing this, Frodo had a secret smile, being very happy indeed, this meant that his credit history has most likely been aresed entirely! But hidding his enthusiasm, Frodo asked for a room for two for the night, and for a good pouch of Eastfarthing weed. "AH, but had you asked for anything else, good masters" said Butterball. "We are now stuck with our own since there in none to be had from the Shire. All we have is Easthanging, which cannot be compared to Eastfarthings." Then then talked a bit of what had happened in the south, being careful not to reveal their true identities, Frodo, in a flash of genius had decided to go as Mr Overhill. They talked about the return of the king, and that he would most likely come this way eventually. Reassured Butterball that he would not raise his inn for past offenses, and that he would most likely elect residence where the halls of the king has been in the north, a place called Fu****g North. Legend has it that the place got his name when a king, which one is now forgotten, was stuck inside his castle because of a snow strom and expressed himself with the epithath wich is now the name of the place. With that, they all went to bed. The next mornig, Radagast and Frodo took their leave of this ghastly and went to rejoin their companions, since they can't really be called friends, and told them all that they had learned. Sam was about to ask a question about the revolution, when he was cut by Morrie: "So my industry is faltering, but I have new markets that I have guaranteed myself, what with this slow witted king. I could even make up a spece for you if you're intered Frodo, on the condition that you forget what those voices of yours told you. I would eventually win in court, but it would be rather bothersome, and it's not quite true. I'd have to let the truth be known if you did try to frame me." So they kept on walking in silence towards the Shire. When they passed by the forest in which Tom Bombadil resides, they tried tohurry past it, but Radagast stopped them. He said that this is where he would leave them. He was worried about those voices Frodo was hearing, so he wanted to have a good talk with Bombadil, a talk like he hadn't had in many a years. He also wanted to know if Bombadil still had his copy of the DSM IV lying around somewhere, he had lost his since their psychiatry classes. SO they trudged along, each lost in their own thoughts once again. Frodo quite happy that his debt seemed to be cleared, Morrie wondering how he could regain and expand his underground empire (remember that Hobbits live in holes...), and Sam angry that since the author couldn't imitate his dialect elected not to have him talk for the whole chapter. Let's not forget Pippin, he realised that he was loosing all the depth of character he had acquired during their adventures. Carl ps: for those interested, the DSM is a diagnosis tool used in psychiatry. It can be used to administer a diagnosis such as schyzophrenia. In an earlier edition it had PMS and being guay as illnesses that needed pssychiatric treatment. If you beleive that Frodo is indeed schyzophrenic and would like to know which medications can be used to help him, you can get intouch with me.