Article: 208624 of rec.arts.books.tolkien Path: uchinews!newsswitch.lcs.mit.edu!newsfeed.cwix.com!newsfeed.icl.net!diablo.theplanet.net!news.theplanet.net!newspost.theplanet.net!not-for-mail From: "Jim" <<>> Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: E-Text: Prologue Part 1 Date: Sat, 27 May 2000 14:36:20 -0700 Organization: Customer of Planet Online Lines: 62 Message-ID: <8goiu3$ii6$1@news5.svr.pol.co.uk> References: <20000527053410.19728.00000587@ng-ct1.aol.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: modem-40.acyclovir.dialup.pol.co.uk X-Trace: news5.svr.pol.co.uk 959434499 19014 62.136.75.168 (27 May 2000 13:34:59 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: 27 May 2000 13:34:59 GMT X-Complaints-To: abuse -aaatt- theplanet -daht- net X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.1 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3 Xref: uchinews rec.arts.books.tolkien:208624 >2. Concerning Weed > >Hobbits kept their weed in small dime-bag sized . . .[to be completed shortly] > >Mark Constantino Concerning Pipe-Weed There is another thing about the Hobbits of old that must be mentioned, an astonishing habit : they imbibed or inhaled, through pipes, bongs and hookahs the smoke of the burning matter of a herb, or its resinous material, which they called pipe-weed or bud, a variety probably of Canabis Sativa. A very hazy section of memory is associated with the origins of this habbit [ED: How about a parody of _The Habbit_]. All that can be worked out about it in latter days is that it was the old gangster ancestors of Morrie, that started trafficking and racketerring of the herb in the shire, and his family still has a monopoly on the weed and controls its pushers. This is said to be the foundation of the gangsters wealth. 'This,' says Morrie, 'is the one mainstay of The Shires criminal underworld. There are some that say that Tobold Pipesucker of Bongbottom introduced the plant to The Shire, and first started smoking it, and that my forefathers saw the potential mass market soon after which Tobold was sinking to the bottom of Bywater with a large rock tied to his feet. The best bud still grows on that stolen plantation, especially my favourites Bongbottom Bud, Stoned Toby and Southern Lights 'My forefathers worked out that Toby must have come by the plant on his sneaky contraband runs to Bree. A branch of the family therefore went to live in Bree and setup a Cartel there. They are the only Shire Hobbits I know of to move back East from the shire, and they changed thier name to Underhill to cloud the connection. Wisely so because occasionally travelling rangers bring Pipe-Weed to Bree from outside, undercutting our prices, and have to be given a quick permanent lesson for doing this, and using the name Underhill stopped Ranger reprisals on the shire. Nevertheless the Rangers became suspicous of the Shire, often hanging around the borders spying on the movements of herb. Dwarves and Wizards appear to smoke the herb too, but they are so stingy and never share thier weed around, so we do not have run ins with them. 'I have discovered through my own research that the weed is not native here, but came northward from Pelargir the smugglers port of legendary status, no doubt brought there by the Men of Westernesse. Indeed it is an ambition of mine to visit the land of Gondor on a smoking pilgrimage, as apparently it grows larger and more potent there, even in the wild (it of course requires careful cultivation in the north). I have heard that the Gondorians do not even smoke it! This really is a mass market with no supply problems where I can really make a fortune pushing the herb, if only I can make the right connections.... 'So the plant took its time to get here, but all conceded that we first had the idea of smoking it, even those rude Wizards, one of which took it up long ago, and in a wizards true "anything you can do I can do better" fasion became a master smoker. He even helps himself at our plantations, but what can you do? It doesnt pay to argue with Wizards'